Many women may find the title of this post offensive, but keep reading and I’ll give you some fresh revelation. I get tired of seeing women break their neck to help a trifling, low down man. You knew he was trifling when you met him, but for some reason his pitiful life story drew you to him. Like a lost puppy in the middle of the street on a rainy day, you decided to bring him home. And now you can’t get rid of him.

So you’ve tried to help him with his drug and alcohol problems, his financial problems, his child support problems, his self-esteem problems, and his anger problems, but guess what none of that help has fixed his problems. He may be a little better than before, but now he’s more dependent of you than he’s ever been. And you’re drained. 

It’s natural for women to want to help. I believe it’s in us to see greatness in someone even when they don’t see it themselves and have the confidence that they can be great with our help. But truly we are not designed to help every single broken down man that happens to cross our path today.  Why do we welcome drama into our life and then question how we got into a bad relationship?  Here comes the fix yourself part….Don’t Fix Him, Fix Yourself. 

This year do not get involved with men who are filled with drama. Change your acceptance level of who is worthy of your time. Focus on improving your own situations and not his. This year we are being smarter with our time and no longer being a second mother to a grown man or his 3am stress reducer. Close the door to foolishness and drama this year. Be slow to jump into a relationship with the first interested man, because if he is worth your time then he’ll wait. Embrace being single this year getting back to a solid, grounded relationship with Christ alone.  

When you look back over the last few relationships you have been in think about how the drama made the relationship. If the drama hadn’t been there would you even know who he was or would you even be with him? 

If you want to experience true love this year, then embrace the Word of God, the love of God and His peace this year. And start to love and encourage yourself again. 

Check out my new book, Not Another Victim: A Women’s Guide to Avoiding A Bad Relationship, available everywhere. 

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